2021, I’m ready to let you go.

2021, I’m ready to let you go. You definitely were not the best, easiest or happiest years of my life and I am ready to say goodbye to you. 2021, you broke me down, you knocked me to my knees, leaving me grasping for breath as I longed for the strength to carry on. This year, I’ve cried in my car more times than I can count, I’ve cried sat parked in empty parking lots because I could not face going home, I’ve cried in my car parked on my driveway after the hardest day at work.

2021, as much as I am ready to let you go. I am so grateful for all the lessons that you have taught me and I learned them the hard way. Through you, I learned that life can change in the blink of an eye. I learned that death is the one thing that is promised in this life. I learned that you can sit and watch people you love go through so much pain and as much as you want to do something to help them, you can’t. 2021, you taught me to always put my mental health first, if it’s going to cost you your mental health, it’s not worth it. This year taught me that bad things happen, and mostly to good people. You taught me that nobody really knows your story. Nor, do you really know theirs. So, be kind, always. This year you taught me to believe in myself, you taught me to trust myself a little more.

2021, you taught me that even in the darkest moments of my life, I still always make space for others in my heart and I am proud of myself.

2021, after everything, I forgive you for all the tears, stress, pain and uncertainty that you placed in my life. 2021, as much as I am happy to say goodbye to you, I appreciate you. If it wasn’t for you I would never have known how strong I could be, I would not have met the most incredible people that I’ve come to call my friends. 2021, after everything, I am taking with me all the amazing memories that you gave me, there have been days this year where I have laughed a lot on days when I wish I wasn’t alive. 2021, after everything that you have thrown at me, there have been times that made me feel happy to be alive. 2021, you threw a lot at me. I think I’ve proved that I can cope with just about anything that comes my way.

2022 may not be the best year but, it will be pretty damn good. Just because we are going into a new year, that doesn’t mean that everything magically will be okay. There will still be days, new challenges that I will need to face, there will be many ups and down. However, I am learning how to deal with these things better. In 2022, I want to grow into the strongest version of myself. I promise to try and put my energy into becoming the best version of myself possible, the happiest and healthiest version of myself. In 2022, I want to figure out what I want from this busy, crazy and chaotic world. I want to dig deep into my brain and see my full potential, what I am capable of and what really makes me tick. I want to get to know myself, every part of me, things that I never paid attention to before, because I was too busy noticing my flaws.

I’m not saying “New year, new me”, because we all know that is all rubbish. Change does not happen overnight. I know that I need to work hard, it’s going to take patience and resilience and I promise to put in the hard work. I promise to try. 2022, Here’s to new beginnings, new stories, new mornings, here’s to success and happiness, here’s to family and friends, here’s to smiling and happy tears and shoulders to lean on when things become tough. I promise to face everything with nothing but courage, optimism, and resilience.

2021, thank you for all the lessons that you have taught me and because of you, I am a completely new person from whom I used to be a year ago.

Hello, 2022. Here’s to the year I hope to be a published children’s writer!

Mariam x

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teacher, coffee, books, mental health | Tw: @MariamK95 Insta: teaandmaz

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Mariam Khatoon

Mariam Khatoon

teacher, coffee, books, mental health | Tw: @MariamK95 Insta: teaandmaz

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