A little note on friendship

Here’s to friendship

I don’t have very many friends, my friendship group is very small but, the friends I do have, I cherish, love and value with all my heart. I’m the friend that is always there, mentally, physically and emotionally. I’m that friend that will always encourage and support, I’m that friend that will be there no matter the time of day. I’m that friend that will cheer you when things are going your way and I’m that friend that will be there and never leave when life throws things your way.

I think friendships teach us a lot about ourselves, about others and the way we view the world that we live in. Friends support us when we feel alone, they make us laugh and they are our shoulder to cry on when we need it the most. If you have good friends, I honestly think have the world.

I have some incredible friends who I love, care and trust very much and I can’t thank them enough. The friendships I have, have made me realise that those are the friends that will pick me up when I am at my worst, they will look into my eyes with nothing but admiration for my strength and courage.

I want to talk about friendship breakups. It’s not talked about enough. I recently lost a friend who I thought would be in my life forever. A childhood friend, we were inseparable, forever, or so we thought and I’m heartbroken. I think when you lose a best friend, a part of you dies. You grieve. Losing someone you love is painful.

Now, the biggest lesson I’m learning right now is that not everyone has the same heart as me. Growing up, I was an emotional child. I would and still do feel things at extreme magnitudes. Both pain and happiness are equally overwhelming. Growing up, I convinced myself that being “too emotional” was something to be ashamed of and having a very big heart made me a very weak person, rather than strong.

It sucks having a big heart because you want to see the best in people so you try to justify their actions. You care too much about people and it causes you unnecessary stress. I tried my best, but this friendship was not worth saving. Letting go is never easy for me. I think it’s important to remember when friendships end, the best solace is knowing that your own intention were true.

This friendship breakup has hit me. I’m wondering if I’ll ever find a friend like them again, someone that makes me laugh, someone that’s always ready to hang out and someone that made me feel safe. I hope so, it might not be the same friend, but a new one that will give me hope about friendship. Every time someone leaves, life replaces them.

So here’s to the friends we lose along the way. Thank you for the memories and the lessons. Here’s to the friends we lose along the way, don’t wish them harm, wish them well.

Mariam x